unexplainable

im feeling this unexplainable anxiety.  like im waiting for something extremely good or extremely bad to happen. maybe it's because, with all the major elements in my life, im never on good terms. im always on the border or something potentially being amazing, or something potentially being horrible.  maybe it is because im waiting for quiet and rest. maybe it is because i have been acting spiritually deprived these past few months. maybe it is because i keep pushing people away, but every time i do, i want them to come back even more.
but whatever it is, it's really starting to bug.