Dear Paula Abdul,

i feel like "straight up" no longer exists in this immature high school world of double-meaning-mixed-messages-sent-through-text-but-really-should-be-said-in-person-but-cant-because-you-can-no-longer-hold-a-conversation-without-using-an-acronym. or even worse, when it doesn't involve communication, but feelings and actions. those "burning passions" for worldly things and for people that you just met. ridiculous. so im done searching for straight up-ness, because it's obvious im not going to get any out of anyone anytime soon.  so im quitting this "game" and im just going to watch you play it and see how you do.  it's not a bitch move, it's me being a friend.